1. Canada Hat
Normally I am relatively proud of my status as an American Citizen, but just in case an argument over foreign policy gets out of hand I can simple exclaim that Molson is better then Beck's any day, put on this hat and leave.
2. Angry German Music
To better acclimate myself to Germany culture and society I will spend my ~9 hours of flight indulging myself with the course wrath of Rammstein et al. By the time I arrive, I will be depressed severely enough to fit in.
3. Personal Protection Photograph
This is me with Joseph Alois Ratzinger aka Benedict XVI and "Der Kaiser" Franz Beckenbauer, and I am confident it will secure my safety in Germany, considering that if there was a German version of the Justice League they would both be on it with Goethe, Einstein, und Nietzsche's Übermensch (Germans have no real Superheros). In fact the picture guarantees asylum, so long as Germans aren't familiar with Photoshop™©®.
4. Techo
because if there's one thing I know about Europeans, they love techno, and faking fouls in professional sports. Finding the correct mix of #2 and #4 on this list will be vital.
5. Book of German Foul Language
Not so I can say them, but so that I can understand exactly what the foreigner I just offended via cultural misunderstanding is saying.
3 comments:
I think it would be better if you mixed #1 and #3 instead of #2 and #4: pope hats are cooler than Oakenfold.
I don't think any local retailers supply canadian pope hats
hi Pete loved your messages. love grandma
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